Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?” And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.

She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward…I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…let me check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I’m going to have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty…scum balls…

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl, romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…

“Roger,” Elaine says aloud.

“What?” says Roger, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have… Oh God, I feel so… (She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Roger.

“I’m such a fool,” Elaine sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Roger.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Elaine says.

“No!” says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that…it’s that I…I need some time,” Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.

“Yes,” he says. Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.

“Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Roger.

“That way about time,” says Elaine.

“Oh,” says Roger. “Yes.”

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.

“Thank you, Roger,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a re-run of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, statement, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, “Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?”

And that’s the difference between men and women.

via Sanitaryum | Get Committed. To Clean Humor.

Almost a year ago I blogged about a guy friend and how we would never date but that he was my best friend. It just happens to be that he is now the one person in my life that I look forward to talking to him daily. He is still going to school in Grand Rapids, and I am still in Rochester Hills, but as of tomorrow we will be together for 6months. He makes me feel so wonderful and he is still my best friend. Daily he tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me. At first I couldn’t except any of this because I have very poor self esteem. But the more I heard him talk about me with his friends, without him realizing that I was listening to him, I knew that he meant what he was telling me. I am slowly starting to believe that I am beautiful, and even with a messed up background, someone loves me for being me! It is such an amazing feeling when someone wants to give YOU the world. When I look back at it all it is truly GOD’s work that we are together. I didn’t even care for him to begin with and now he is someone I love to be around. Not only do I plan on spending the rest of my life with him, but he is still my best friend, he is a godly man, going to a good Christian college. He is so very precious to me! Love you JCB2…

Is sexual sin really the issue, or does it go deeper?  “How should Christian men and women go about breaking free from the bondage of sexual sin?” is the fifth question posed to Pastor Mark Driscoll, as he continues preaching in Religion Saves: And Nine Other Misconceptions.

I can’t believe that I found the best friend everyone should have!  With me being a female you would assume that it is another female.  But it is not. With in the past year I have been getting closer with one of my male friends.  At first it was just me trying to become better friends with him, but slowly and without me really noticing I started to fall for this guy.  At first I denied it with everything that was in me.  So much so that I was chatting with him on facebook and I just kind of said it straight out that I didn’t want to hurt him or lead him on if I was that I didn’t like him in any special way.  But I just couldn’t help the way I was feeling for this guy.  So, another night, not long after our first discussion, I laid everything out on the table.  I was so terrified that it would ruin our friendship and that he wouldn’t like me back.  Well after I told him how I truly felt about him everything was still the same.  We still chatted when we were both on facebook.  Things weren’t awkward and he had told me that he really didn’t know how he felt, to be honest that was probably what I needed to hear.  Just within the last week we have been chatting almost every night.  It is has been great.  We have come to the conclusion that with the circumstances that we are under, being he lives basically 3 hours away and is going to school in Grand Rapids, and I am going to school in Rochester Hills, we will probably never be in a ‘relationship’.  But we know so much about each other, or at least I feel as if I have learned so much about and from him just in the past week.  He is truly my BEST FRIEND!  I am so thankful that after being completely honest with him that he is still my friend, and I am glad that he was honest with me about the possibility of an ‘us’.  He is just the greatest guy in the world, and I am going to let my head get straight so that way I can realize that he will always be my friend, and that one day he will find his Beautiful Maiden and I will find my Knight in Shining Armour!  We have this knowing of each other that if we have ‘ANYTHING’ that we want to talk about then we can.  There is no awkwardness within it, unless you are chatting at 2:30 in the morning and so tired that your thoughts aren’t making any sense. Or at least you think they aren’t making sense! = )

Just remember that every person is worthy of being a friend… but, you need to find your one true friend that you can talk to.  Guy or girl, it doesn’t matter.  I found mine, he is wonderful!

you are the best JCB2

“She’s pulling at me,
Saying ‘Dad, I need you, There’s a ball at the castle and I’ve been invited and I need to practice my dancing. Oh, please, Daddy, please?’
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms.”
Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman
—

I was that princess once. I was 3, and my dad had taught me how to ride a tricycle.
I don’t remember another time of being my dad’s little princess.

My dad left when I was 5.
I was okay with it at the time, as he was never home to begin with.

Now that I’m older, there is that hole left by my dad that I have so much trouble trying to fill.

“I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it’s killing me
Does someone hear my cry?
I’m dying for new life”
Beautiful by Bethany Dillon

Desperate. That’s what it was. That’s what I became.
Desperate for the attention I didn’t have, didn’t know I had.

Any guy that looked my way. Any “hey” or conversation and I was “head over heels” for him. This attracted me to the wrong type of guys. The dangerous type. Soon, I was in a relationship, that was a mistake from the start. I fell “in love” in 2 weeks. 7 months later, I was being accused of cheating because I wanted to hang out with my friends. 2 months and 2 black eyes later, I finally was out of the abusive distress I was in for so long.
Why didn’t I end it sooner? Fear. I was so scared of him, it ate me from the inside out.

I hadn’t been to church in about 5 months because of him, and I finally started going back, and got back involved in 531, and my life group. I was being healed by my accountability partners, and prayer partners. God was really moving in my life. I was finally to this place of, “I don’t need a guy to complete me.”

Around May of 2008, I got into another relationship. A deeper, more serious relationship. He was 2 years older and in college. So, there was a huge time gap between us, and a lot of maturity problems. Parts of that relationship I absolutely will never want to forget, and I still thank him for. But the relationship wasn’t perfect. We fought a lot. We made many mistakes in the relationship. We both said many things we didn’t mean, and we were no where spiritually where we should have been. The ending was a disaster. I was happy and upset that it ended, in that, I really do believe, I loved him. Or what I believed to be love at the time.

More guys I tried to depend on, tried to have accept me, tried to make like me.

Then…something finally…clicked! Seriously almost like a switch in my head went to the ON position.

I didn’t need a guy to make me happy!
I didn’t need a relationship, or someone to text constantly to fill me up!

I needed God. The love of my FATHER! The love of my KING!
God made me the princess I had so longed to be my entire life!
God made me beautiful. God filled that void that I used almost ANYTHING to fill.
God brought me out of a desperate for guys attention phase into a desperate for HIM place!

Every now and then, Satan tries to control my mind and tell me that I do need someone, that I can’t be alone, that I’m not beautiful, that I’m not worth anything.
But, I remember the role God plays in my life, and remember that God is more than enough, and God is ALL I EVER NEED and all those thoughts vanish just as fast as they were brought about.

So, I am that princess after all. I am daddy’s little girl.

“You make me beautiful. You make me stand in awe, You look inside my heart and I am amazed. I love to hear you say, who I am is quite enough, You make me worthy of love and beautiful.”
Beautiful by Bethany Dillon

God is all you need.

Sex, Alcohol, Lust, Drugs, Porn, Gossip, Jealousy, Money, etc. WILL NOT FILL YOU UP!
God is everything and more!

God IS everything and more.

And He will ALWAYS love you. No matter what.
He will Always, always, always love you.

No. Matter. What.

Why is dating such a pain?  Trying to find a GODLY man, seems like it’s impossible.

I think I have my standards way to high!!!

• A man IN LOVE with GOD
• in school, or financially stable
• No DRINKING or SMOKING or DIPPING ICK!!!
• Someone in love with sports as much as I am.
• Someone who is going to love me for me
• Someone who wants to have fun
• Someone GOOD looking

Is that too high????? or is there a such thing as setting your standards to high????