“The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

-Manning, Brennan

Every time I hear this quote in a song or read it somewhere, I get the shivers. I mean, we truthfully are the epitome of hypocrisy, myself included. And it isn’t necessarily that we are trying to be… It is just that we aren’t trying hard enough not to be. Christian is the definition of internal warfare. We were born in this world, but upon having accepted Christ, we are commanded to not be of this world. To live in a familiar place but have to leave all familiar aspects of our life behind? How could we be asked to do such a thing? Well, the simple answer is that we ourselves are the ones choosing to leave these things behind because we believed at one point in time that it was worth it. Is it really worth it? Well, I for one think it is!

But what is more, not only does the world hate us being so lukewarm, God does also. He says in revelations that if we are lukewarm, He will just spit us out. He says lukewarm not to be an adjective or an adverb… He says it as a noun. It is a title. It doesn’t merely describe a person. It is the entirety of who that person is and what they believe and what they do.

So then, how can we make a complete u-turn from being to being different?

The old youth pastor from my church told us a few times about this girl he grew up with in school who was just so filled with the Holy Spirit that you could tell just by looking at her… Not that she necessarily had something different about her physical appearance, other than dressing more modestly I presume… But her life was just one that echoed God’s love. Everything she touched, everything she did, everything she said was out of her love for Christ. Now, I am guessing she had a few stumbling blocks along the way because none of us are perfect, but I find myself coming back to the thought of her and the thought of God’s love. What would God’s love look like? What would His love feel like? What would it say?

Going back to 1 Chorinthians 13, God’s love is described as being patient, humble, kind, non-judgement, envy-less, selfless, polite, meek, merciful, gentle, always delighting in the truth (no matter what it may be), always protects, always hopes, always perseveres… And that love NEVER fails.

That last point is particularly interesting to me because if love NEVER fails, then we could not ever possibly be lukewarm if we grasp and cling to this love. If we are full of this love, of God’s love, then it should be overflowing in our lives and God tells us in the bible that it will be so desirable and a person won’t be able to resist such a love.

How then do we attain such a love?

Well for starters we can pray and dig deeper into God’s word. We can ask him to show us how to love. I would think that it is so hard to love someone, but just by smiling at them I realize that it isn’t… I mean, where do all of these feelings of hate or despise come from? Certainly not God! Which means that I don’t want any part of it!

I remember when I was younger how adults would tell you that it takes more muscles to frown then to smile and the same goes for all of your actions. I find it a whole lot easier offering my seat on the bus to someone who needs it or would like one rather than awkwardly sitting there, having that feeling in my stomach and feel terrible about it for the whole day. I also find that it’s easier not being apart of the gossip then helping spread it. If you don’t let anything bad be said, then there is a whole lot less drama and you will have a clean conscience over those matters. Not to mention that you then won’t allow someone else’s fight conflict your opinion concerning a person. I believe that it is wrong for your opinion of something someone has done to you affect someone else’s view on that person, despite me falling short of this several times.

Again, we are going to screw up and fall. But an easy way to change all of that is by spending time in prayer and digging deep into the bible. Smile at everyone…. People are passing you by from every which direction in each of their own situations and circumstances and you may have just opened this window for them to feel just a bit of God’s irresistible love in their life! Finally, get an accountability partner… It may be extremely hard to find…. But the best things are the hardest… Have someone actually keep you accountable for things you stumble upon, for example swearing or lying or stealing…. etc.

If you try to just make this instant u-turn, you won’t know how to start. However, if we turn our mind-set from thinking of a habit to being a lifestyle or attitude of this joy, we can improve and grow closer to others and God. It is not something worth trying to quantify all of the data for. It is simply this change in our life that causes us to be set apart from the rest of the world and how they’re living. I mean, why would we not want to be always happy and full of joy and love? It is easier than dieting or exercising or going to the dentist… It is such an attractive thing and always we must do is yearn for God to have His way in us? If we really love God and are drawing closer to Him, then these sacrifices that we are making now will no longer be sacrifices… We will no longer desire for what the world has to offer and we will become familiar with a new self.

I have been on several youth group retreats and of course, I have experienced, what I like to call, the spiritual high…. It seemed to catch on after my repetitive use of it in grade eight… Anyways, this past summer I spent working up at Muskoka Bible Center in Huntsville and, well…. WHAT A RUSH!

You see, I have had summer jobs working for Christian camps before and am heavily involved in my church and youth group and bible quizzing… But this was nothing like those times…. The camps I worked at in previous years were day camps and so, councilors come in each morning for eight and worship God and then leave the building at 4:30 to return to their indifferent lives. Now, it wasn’t at fault of our bosses or anything, it just was that way… I mean, we would have staff devos. for a half hour to forty-five minutes before we began to work and we would start AND end the day leading the campers in worship… But then afterwards, the staff would return to doing whatever they wanted just minding not to get caught. So after a while, as I catch on to these things, it just kinda destroyed the whole thing for me… Which I should not have allowed. I was just tired of going on all of these youth retreats and working for an eight hour day with these “Christians” just for people to be faking every second of it…

I became the youth group outcast, so-to-speak, and I didn’t find a place where I fit in… Not even in bible quizzing… I kept growing stronger in my faith with God but farther apart from any Christian-based community.

Then I had the privilege to spend this past summer up at MBC. My duties were working Monday to Friday mornings from 9-12 teaching youth, from grades four to twelve how to build model rockets, that flew up to two-three thousand feet in the air, and I also worked Tuesday through Thursday afternoons Saturdays at the Marina. What sweet jobs! I would also then volunteer in different departments during my spare time.

This was my first summer away from home, so obviously I was nervous about making friends and being accepted, which was really quite weird because I am usually the one person excited to meet the new person and make friends with people and reach out… I guess it shows you how judged and unaccepted I felt then….  But, I was going to make it work! I would tell some new friends I made about all of my accomplishments, as if I hadn’t learned my lesson the first time about giving God the glory, and did my best to impress people.

I made friends.

However, the cooler part about it was that I didn’t make them by the stories I told. They enjoyed my personality and spunkiness and, yes, I’ll admit it, clumsiness and blondness… I finally found a group of people who accepted me.

What was even better was that they were all desperately seeking God’s face this summer and to grow closer with God, as was I. It was so different being in a 24hour accountability setting. You and your co-workers were always in constant prayer with each other. And something more, people were actually getting down into the dirt to walk alongside the other.

As a bit of background information, all of the workers in this program ranged in age from 15-25 and so the older employees (being university students) would be mentors to us younger ones…. Now, that was a truly new concept to me. Someone who I could tell anything to, who is not like a dumb therapist or social worker who just recommend me solutions without actually understanding, who would be my friend and would PRAY over me and just chill with me… Off/bad day or not… Despite feeling a bit awkward at first about it, I chose this 22 year old, Stephanie, who had already helped me out with a situation that I went through in the first week.

With Stephanie and my other new friends, I grew even closer to God and really began to understand the importance of having a Christian community for support. I mean, this summer, even with all the amazing things God had been doing, had a lot of trials and pushed me. I experienced overwhelming fear almost everyday whereas, if you had asked me before the summer, I would have told you that though I might be a little scared of stuff at times, I don’t really have a fear… Yet each new day had brought about something new that struck terror to my very soul and I would feel so insecure about myself.

But up at MBC I could feel God’s love and pressence so greatly. So much so that I even dared to share my testimony. Just telling them everything I have been through and how God has used it to help me and bring him glory. Afterwards, I spoke with a great friend and encouragement, Kurtis, who basically asked me, “After all of the things that you’ve gone through, how could you have such a strong faith in God?” My response was simply, “How could I not?”

This really got me thinking… I mean, the whole summer, he had been a major inspiration to me of how real and sincere and strong his faith was and yet, people were coming up to me for encouragement or to pray over them or to give them advice and wisdom as to what Jesus would have them do…. I didn’t realize how visible and strong my faith was up until that moment. I felt earlier on in the summer that I was being tested to show me how weak my faith was….

This just lit me up, not that I was proud for keeping to my faith, but finally understanding that God is still present in my life, which just encouraged me that he is still working with me and through me in the hard times. And I was determined to keep this spirit alive when I returned home to the big city in September.

The one thing I wanted more than anything about returning home was to be closer with my family and the one thing I was terrified about leaving camp was that I would be one of those crashers…

In a way, I do feel like I have crashed because it is just so much harder now not being in this sheltered environment… But at the same time, I know that I just have to persevere more and that God is here with me and that is giving me the strength to push past this feeling of a spiritual hangover…

The one thing that I am trying to really remember during these tough times is what I learned in this summer about Christian community and God’s omnipresence-ness because spiritual growth is not something that can ever die down… If it does, than it isn’t really spiritual growth… As well as that spiritual growth doesn’t mean that you won’t have those times where you feel like you are breaking down… They actually mandate your constantly being rebroken so that God might build you up in a new way and that you may grow closer to Him more so.

It’s important for parents to keep dating. Just check your babysitter references. – Sanitaryum

via Sanitaryum | Get committed. To Clean Humor.

Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?” And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.

She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward…I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…let me check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I’m going to have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty…scum balls…

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl, romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…

“Roger,” Elaine says aloud.

“What?” says Roger, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have… Oh God, I feel so… (She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Roger.

“I’m such a fool,” Elaine sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Roger.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Elaine says.

“No!” says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that…it’s that I…I need some time,” Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.

“Yes,” he says. Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.

“Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Roger.

“That way about time,” says Elaine.

“Oh,” says Roger. “Yes.”

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.

“Thank you, Roger,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a re-run of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, statement, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, “Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?”

And that’s the difference between men and women.

via Sanitaryum | Get Committed. To Clean Humor.

I am not even quite sure where this is going, but I have had an aching in my spirit that will not let me go until I write what is on my heart. I live in a small community, a religiously conservative community, and I have taken some heat over the past few years for some of my beliefs regarding worship and life with Jesus in general. But that will never deter me from going hard after Jesus! Soooo, here it goes.

I look at Jesus’ life, and over the past few years I have really begun to see that His life was far from what we would call normal. I mean, look at Him. He ate with sinners and tax collectors. He defended a prostitute. He hung out with the lower class of His day, and He talked and touched people that most people ignored, and in today’s society we would put gloves on to touch.

So why do we try so hard to not look odd today? If my life is sold out for Jesus, and if I am yearning for more of the Holy Spirit, wouldn’t “odd” become normal for me? And yes, my friends reading this are probably saying that “odd” is my way of life! (haha)

I have grown tired over the past few years of just going along with the religious crowd. It left me empty and without answers. Sure, I was comfortable, and there are a few times now when I wish for comfortable. But most of the time I am just finding joy in the journey to seek after Jesus with all I have!

A little less than two years ago I was blessed to have a daughter come into my life, but it wasn’t how I expected it. I have two wonderful sons, who I love and have enjoyed watching grow up, but since I can remember, I have wanted a daughter.

About 3-4 years ago I went on this journey to find God. I began spending hours upon my face just longing for Him, aching for Him to speak to me, and out of that obedience a very shy and quiet 16 year old girl came into our lives. You see, I had given up the idea of having a girl more than 10 years ago, so the thought of a daughter was nowhere in my mind, but God saw things differently, as He usually does.

I didn’t know much about her, but God didn’t care. He told me to step in and be her dad. I knew, being a youth pastor, that people wouldn’t understand, and believe me, I didn’t understand at first either. But after hashing it out in prayer with the Holy Spirit over a 10 day period, I finally agreed.

Has it been easy? Haha, not by a long shot! Have I made mistakes along with way? More than I would like to admit! Have people not understood and made snap judgments about us? Well, I am sure you know the answer to that  one as well. But has it been worth it? More than I could have ever imagined!!

You see, following hard after Jesus takes us on some pretty interesting paths, and many of them are far from what most would call normal! And if we think that this walk will be an easy one, then you better not sign up for this walk with the Savior! I don’t want to be “normal” any longer, no matter what difficulties await.

I just want Jesus!

I now have three children, and I love them all with everything I have, and even more so, because Jesus loves them through me. And that shy, quiet 16 year old is now a very beautiful, vibrant, outgoing, vibrant daughter of the King!!

You see, once we taste a father’s love, we will never be the same again!!!

Choose to be abmornal…Go all out for Jesus!!!

Brian

Almost a year ago I blogged about a guy friend and how we would never date but that he was my best friend. It just happens to be that he is now the one person in my life that I look forward to talking to him daily. He is still going to school in Grand Rapids, and I am still in Rochester Hills, but as of tomorrow we will be together for 6months. He makes me feel so wonderful and he is still my best friend. Daily he tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me. At first I couldn’t except any of this because I have very poor self esteem. But the more I heard him talk about me with his friends, without him realizing that I was listening to him, I knew that he meant what he was telling me. I am slowly starting to believe that I am beautiful, and even with a messed up background, someone loves me for being me! It is such an amazing feeling when someone wants to give YOU the world. When I look back at it all it is truly GOD’s work that we are together. I didn’t even care for him to begin with and now he is someone I love to be around. Not only do I plan on spending the rest of my life with him, but he is still my best friend, he is a godly man, going to a good Christian college. He is so very precious to me! Love you JCB2…

Today has been a long and very emotional day for me.  I got up this morning went to class, and everything was fine and dandy. Then I received and e-mail from my biological mother telling me that my Great Grandpa had passed away but that I wasn’t invited to the memorial service because I was no longer family. This was right before I was supposed to go to my History class. So I went and explained to my professor that I had recently lost a family member. She excused me from class and I went back to my dorm and just cried and cried and cried some more. Then I realized that is was almost time for my last class. I was walking over there telling myself “Don’t cry Megan, you can do this, no tears” well that lasted only until I walked in the room and she asked me what was wrong. She told me that I shouldn’t even had gone to class. So I have only been to 1/3 of my classes today. Most of my day has been spent in tears. But I know God has a purpose for everything and that even through my pain He will make me stronger!!! I just have to believe that it will happen. I know it will happen… I will be strong!

Is sexual sin really the issue, or does it go deeper?  “How should Christian men and women go about breaking free from the bondage of sexual sin?” is the fifth question posed to Pastor Mark Driscoll, as he continues preaching in Religion Saves: And Nine Other Misconceptions.

Best friend. Is this an easy title to give out? There are times where I feel like I’m suppose to have a lot of best friends, but honestly, can you just give someone the name best friend? I personally have a lot of friends, but could I really consider them all to be my best friends? That’s hard to say. First of all, a best friend is someone who has been there. Not necessarily in the physical sense, but someone you know you can talk to. A best friend should have your best interests in mind. Actually we should all do that with everyone. That is what love is. There has been someone in my life that I feel that I can tell almost anything to. There is someone that I care about and want to know more about. I can’t think of anyone right now that I would like to hang out with more than him. Yeah, this person is a guy. Believe it or not, this isn’t a type of friendship that has some kind of hidden romantic feelings. It’s just the type of friendship that hasn’t ended and I don’t want it to. Everyone in your life is there for a reason. Also, everyone in your life has some kind of influence on you, whether good or bad. I’m glad that I have a true best friend in my life. We all deserve that. It is very encouraging and best friends make a huge difference in our attitudes and our lives.