Confession

I aint here to show off, I ain’t gotta pretend. Waking up, my first thought is to sin. No way to cover it up, no way to blot it out; yet all through my sin all i can seem to do is shout. Shout for victory, shout for struggle, shout cuz my two lives are too much to juggle. My heart’s made to serve, yet my head’s called to sin. Fighting a battle against myself & I cant seem to win. Sometimes I wanna be used by God, but just so I can get some credit, then my man  JC sticks to his plan and whips me back into shape, quickly telling me to forget it. See, this thing is real and sometimes I don;t even know how to feel. I really aim to get it right, but when the darkness comes to light…it’s reality. It’s how much of God ain’t really in me. It’s distractions, it’s truth of how I really didn’t learn, then back to the same situation I turn. Funny how reality ain’t real, but God is. Funny cuz he doesn’t quite fit into reality’s ordeal. He’s greater, bigger, stronger, loves longer and harder. I’m seeking to firmly find my place in him, living free in servitude, no judgements, just the king and me. Where I can’t be shaken. God’s speaks to himself through me and it’s the most beautiful thing I can see. When I speak to him myself, it’s just not the same, I’m something like a lost cause, yet Lord you keep calling my name. So I confess, the #1 sinner am I, half the time “living right” I hardly try…..but you’re embodied in my inner being & with all my thorns and weaknesses,lies, self-deceit…….I have a chance, I am the chance, I live, I breathe free; because there is a king living inside of me.

What Others are Reading: