It was one of my hardest times. I’ve been knocking on God’s door but there just seemed no answer. It was like I’ve been talking to myself. I hated feeling that way.
I’ve been having the thought of leaving my church. I’ve quite “grown up” since a year ago when I was new in the faith. I’ve been seriously finding God, and along the way I somehow have discovered something in my church that’s contrast to God’s word. It disturbed me a lot.
At that very moment I’ve had the idea of leaving the church. I want to please God more than anyone or anything. Yet in my year in that church I’ve already attached myself to some people. Also, I’ve been having doubts on whether I had the message right. Yet something in me is prickling my conscience, saying that I have to do it.
So i consulted the Word again. I kept on searching and finally decided (on my own) that it must have been God speaking to me.
Not finding what I’ve been looking for, I just kept on hearing sermons from my mp3 till late at night. I found my self realizing some things in my “new life” that I haven’t dealt well with. I thought that God wasn’t answering me since I missed certain things that he wanted me to do (I’ve been asking Him to baptize me in the Holy Spirit as well).
My heart felt so heavy, my head was filled with lots of stuff. Feeling tired, I decided to call it a day.
As I was about to go to sleep, something hit me. I thought that I couldn’t just give up like that. Somehow I might find some answers from God regarding my “uncertain decision”.
That’s when God came in and spoke to me. It was just what I needed. At that moment I couldn’t find any word to say to Him. It was one of my “encounter with God moments”.
God came in at the time when I felt that there was no more hope. When I was almost giving up.
I think he wanted me to learn the lesson of faith. Truly, those who seek the Lord will never be disappointed, If we’re willing to give a one last try.
What Others are Reading:
Loading…
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Thank you so much for sharing your story. The church can be difficult especially when it comes to new Christians. I’ve had several conversations from where people have become disillusioned with the “hypocrites” that exist at high levels in the church. Many people both new and “experienced” Christians expect to find the church as a holy city setting its up far beyond the moral and ethic decay of modern society, but what they find is a gothic building filled with the say depraived and immoral people. But it must be remembered that a church is no more than a hospital, yes it may appear pearly white but is filled with sick and diseased people. But unlike the world already them they recognize, or try to recognize that they’re sick and work on getting treatment from the great physician.
Equally difficult is when the Lord doesnt answer immediately, in the way we expect, or give us the answer we want. During these times its easy to fall into the trap that we believe that we’re utterly alone.
So while I don’t know what is or was going on in your church and how God answered your prayers, I still want to thank you for standing tall and trusting in the Lord, even during the hard times as you mature.
You must log in to post a comment.