Overcoming Anger Pt.3

3.) Be Still (Reaction vs. Response)

So what do I mean by “be still?”  I mean that, when we get angry, we don’t have to say or do the first thing that pops into our heads.  To “be still” basically means to just be quiet and chill out…don’t say or do anything when you get mad.  The Bible says this:

Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger do not sin“: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry

You see, it’s not necessarily wrong to get angry.  The problem is when we:

a.)   Stay angry for too long…

b.)   Get angry and act a fool!

I want to deal with Point B in this post.  Anger always makes us want to react.  I define a “reaction” as a spur-of-the-moment emotional decision.  That reaction may be verbal (giving someone a “piece of your mind”) or physical (knocking someone out).  Either way, reactions happen when we loss self-control.

The opposite of “reacting” is “responding.”  I define a “response” as a predetermined, preplanned course  action.  Here is a great example of a response to anger from the Bible:

Psalm 4:4 – In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

So a wise person decides, before they ever get angry, how they will respond to it.  This verse basically says to shut-up and examine your own heart.

Why should we “shut-up?”  Well I don’t know about you, but when I get truly angry, some pretty awful thoughts go through my head.  I have thoughts about how I should tell-off the person who made me angry…thoughts about how I should hurt the person who hurt me.  I can’t tell you how many feelings I’ve hurt, fights I’ve been in,  and jobs that I’ve quit…in my mind.  So, I thank GOD for the power of just being still…not saying or doing the first thing that pops in my head!

We can’t react…but we must respond.  And a great response to anger is to be still.  Why should we be still?  Great question!  Here are a few good reasons:

Why Be Still?

1. Reactions are dangerous. – Think about how many people are unemployed, locked up, divorced, or even dead due to a bad reaction to anger!  So your boss ticked you off and you cursed him out…it felt great to give him a piece of your mind, but now you are fired.  It only takes one bad reaction to ruin your whole life.  Think about it.
2. Helps get your mind on God. – Gods says to “Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)”  Have you ever been so angry that you forgot all about God, Jesus, and the bible?  If we get that way, we are probably about to do something stupid.  Instead of reacting out of our emotions, we should just stop and reflect on how awesome God is.  We should consider what He has to say about our present situation.
3. Gives you time to examine yourself. -  After some thought, I often find that a situation that I am angry about is actually partly my fault.  There have also been times when a situation was not my fault but I still saw that I was overreacting.  Both of these conclusions require self-examination.  “Be still” time = “Self-examination” time.  “Reaction” time = Possible jail time  

Final Thought:

Proverbs 29:11- A [self-confident] FOOL utters all his anger, but a WISE man holds it back and STILLS it.

We can decide to be fools or to be wise.  Fools react out of their emotions, but the wise be still and respond according to God’s word.

Addition: Lets say that a person makes you angry.  But rather than reacting, you respond by holding your tongue.  Is it a good idea to go back to the person later to discuss what happened?  Well, we should always desire to be reconciled to other people…especially other believers (Mat 5:23-24).  But if you can both move past the situation without having to re-visit it, it’s probably best to just drop it and move on.  But if a discussion is necessary to be reconciled (to make up), do so only after you have let go of the anger.  Otherwise, the reconciliation may turn into another conflict.  (Added 11/16/2009)

Overcoming Anger Pt4

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